i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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