Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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