We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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