we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize