More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
