physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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