I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
