Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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