i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
