when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
