Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My pussy is not your playground.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
