please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
