I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm both gender and math confused
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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