He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
