my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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