In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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