The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize