I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
