did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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