Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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