I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
