just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
