I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
