This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
