Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
