did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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