She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
