is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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