Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize