How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I would ride that face into the sunset
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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