So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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