so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
