two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
