Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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