do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
