Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
