Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
