I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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