i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
