He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
