is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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