question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
