yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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