wake up i wanna do it froggy style
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
