I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
