"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
