I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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