but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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