i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
