the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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