Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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