Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
