You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
where am i from again
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
