she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
