It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize