I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Do vagina's smell?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
