I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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