you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
