i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
