People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
