i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
