ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
