What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
