His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
