Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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