So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
