I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
