garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
